These past few months, life has been really tough. My husband and I had been going through a rough couple of years and it kind of all just came to a head. I don’t really want to go into specifics right now but we were separated for a few months. I think when you’ve been together as long as we have, almost 17 years. You just kind of let things go, and you kind of become miserable in things together. You can begin to resent one another and just every little thing that that person does or says can drive you crazy. And that’s where we were. We both said things to one another that were terrible, we lacked communication, mainly on my part. I will admit I am not the best communicator. It’s different writing things in a blog then it is actually saying it face-to-face to someone. It’s hard to tell someone that you’re unhappy, that you feel unloved, that you’re just dying inside. How did we get here? But I know a lot of it was me. As much as we would love to blame the other person, we have to look within ourselves and see that it does take two.
I have started counseling because I have a lot of issues that I need to work through. A lot of things have happened to me in my life that I kind of pushed aside and never dealt with. I’ve come to find out that I have ADHD and PTSD. Which I already knew, so that came as no surprise to me. I have a lot of communication problems, I don’t like or know how to express my feelings. I’m not the best communicator, I kind of bottle things up inside and let them fester until it comes to a head and just kind of explodes.
So with the help of my amazing counselor I am working through all of my issues and learning to become a better communicator. I think I need to learn patience, and I need to finally love myself.
My husband and I have been working on our relationship and it has actually been going very well. I feel like we are falling in love all over again. And I know it’s not going to be easy but I truly believe that this time it is going to be great. Our children are so excited to have their parents back. Our children are our number one priority.
I will elaborate on this more when I’m ready. Hopefully it may help someone reading this.