Arkansas, depression, health, Life, marriage, Mental Health

Struggling

I’m going to be super honest and vulnerable for a minute here. Which is so unlike me. But I’ve been struggling pretty bad lately. And I’m hiding it. I’ve learned how to do that pretty well.

I have been suffering from some severe depression lately. I get so caught up in my thoughts and feelings. It’s almost debilitating.

You see, I did something horrible to my husband. I’m not going to go into detail, but I haven’t been the best wife. My lack of communication of how I feel made things worse. We both made major faults in our marriage. But mine were worse. And it almost ended. It’s true what they say, you don’t realize what you have till you’re about to lose it. You think you want something and then when it starts to happen, you realize you made a mistake. I almost lost my marriage and my family. And I hurt my husband whom I love so much.

In this process, I also lost my best friend of 23 years. She thinks I’m a horrible person. And I guess I am. But all I can do is learn from my mistakes and apologize. Which I have and am. But I do miss her. She understood me better than anyone.

But lately my depression has been really bad. There are times when I think that everyone would be better off if I was just gone. That I’m such a horrible person that I don’t deserve to have anything or anyone. I haven’t brought any kind of happiness to anyone. Just hurt. And before y’all freak out, no I’m not going to hurt myself.

I was seeing a counselor for awhile. I’m not sure how much that helped. I was diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD. However I don’t go anymore as I don’t have insurance since I quit my job to open my own business. But on days I saw her, I felt worse. I guess you are supposed to work through everything and then you’ll feel better. I hadn’t got to that point yet. I am seen at the VA now and they want me to see mental health to work through the PTSD. I don’t know. Maybe one day.

I don’t know the point of this post. I guess I’m just talking. But from here on out, I’m going to be better. A better person, a better wife, a better mom, and a better friend.

beauty, Hair Care, Monat, skin care

What is Monat?

It’s the best haircare and skincare products I’ve ever used. Literally. I cannot brag on this stuff more.

I tried it because a friend of mine used and was a Market Partner for Monat. So finally I said, ok I’ll try it. After just the first use, I was hooked. I couldn’t believe how great my hair looked and felt.

I loved it so much I decided to become a market partner too. I wish I had discovered this stuff sooner. It’s amazing. Literally in a month, my hair has grown almost 2 inches. It’s crazy.

So if you’ve ever been curious about Monat, here is some info on it. And today is the last au for amazing sales they are having. Shoot me a message if you want to learn more.

Why MONAT over other companies?

Our ingredients! A lot are exclusive to MONAT! Here are a few of our key ingredients!

🌱Rejuvaniqe is our blend of 13+ natural plant and essential oils rich in omega fatty acids, antioxidants, & nutrients that are highly compatible with the hair & skin.

🌱Capixyl is a peptide blend with red clover extract. It’s an emollient that helps to protect the scalp & create a rich environment for hair to grow. This is a very powerful ingredient for hair density.

🌱Procataline is formulated from a pea extract. It’s function is to create younger looking hair by protecting the strands from UV rays & environmental damage.

🌱Crodasorb also protects the hair from UV rays and is the primary ingredient we use to preserve your hair color. It will also keep your hair strong.

👑Our Rejuveniqe oil is our crown jewel & it’s infused in almost all out products!👑

▪️Rejuveniqe is a custom blend of 13+ pure botanical oils, including the exclusive ingredient, Abyssinian Oil.

▪️Abyssinian oil comes from the crambe abyssinian plant 🌱 native to the Mediterranean and East Africa- and currently the oil is produced on Prince Edward Island in Canada 🇨🇦 ⠀

▪️Abyssinian Oil has a unique molecular structure that is not found in any other naturally occurring oil. It has been shown to significantly improve skin’s complexion and hair’s luster through unique Omega 9️⃣ fatty acids. It also has a lower protein base, which means it gives the perfect amount of moisture, opposed to other oils with a high protein base that in time actually dry out the hair and make it brittle.

▪️Monat is committed to ensuring our Abyssinian growers are using sustainable farming practices in their daily operations. Monat also gives back a percentage of its profits to the farmers that grow and maintain our crops, in the spirit of gratitude for our planet 🙏🏼 🌍 ⠀

▪️It’s our crown jewel 💎 product for a reason. Dry scalp? Rejuveniqe. Oily scalp? Rejuveniqe. Damaged hair? Rejuveniqe. Dull, lifeless hair? Rejuveniqe. Sunburn? Cracked heels? Dry lips? Peeling cuticles? Yep- REJUVENIQE.

🖤Have you ever used an oil treatment in your hair? or would you try if you don’t use MONAT yet?

Do you love the science behind MONAT as much as I do!?🖤

Her are some before and afters of the hair care and skin care.

If you want to find out more, send me a message.

Arkansas, family

Mid-Life What???

I was talking over text with a friend, and I mentioned how I’ll be 40 next year. After we finished chatting I sat and thought about that. How is this possible? 40.

I literally feel like I just graduated High School. But that was 20 years ago. I don’t feel 40.

Then I was reading over notes from my doctor following a procedure I had done in October. He states in it, that per some tests I am entering menopause. This has me shook.

I remember when my husband and I started dating, it felt so good knowing that he was in his 30’s and I was in my 20’s. I was the cute young girlfriend. Now he’s about to be 50 and me 40. I’m no longer that cute super young girlfriend. Now I’m an old mom.

I know that age is just a number. And you are only as old as you feel. But still, hearing all of this is crazy. No wonder people have mid-life crisis.

Me and the husband when we first started dating. He was 32. I had just turned 22.

This is us now. He’s 49, I’m 39 with our two daughters who are 10 and 5.

Arkansas, beauty, MakeUp, skin care, subscription Box

November BoxyCharm

I received my November BoxyCharm. It’s ok. I’m not super thrilled with it. But here is what I got:

Dominique Cosmetics: Celestial Thunder Eye Shadow Palette. Retails for $35

The colors are so bright and vibrant. Plus I love the two glitter ones.

Juice Beauty: Stem Cellular Anti-Wrinkle Eye Treatment. Retails for $50.

Dose of Colors: Liquid Matte Lipstick. Retails for $18.

Vitamasques: Morning and Evening Mask Set. Retails for $12.

BoxyCharm: 2-Piece Brush Set. Retails for $35.

So that is what I received. It’s ok. But I have received a lot of matte lipstick, which I’m not a fan of, and eye shadow pallets. So I may need to go in and change my preferences.

What is BoxyCharm?

It is a monthly subscription box. For $25 a month and you get 4-5 full size products sent to you. I love it. If you want to try it, follow the link below.

https://www.boxycharm.com/refer/Shann-FSVWXSEN

Arkansas, Coffee, family, health, kids, Life, School

15 Minutes

My favorite time of the morning. The 15 minutes before my kids wake up. I can sit with my cup of coffee and just be in the quiet of my home. The quiet before the storm.

Once 6am comes, the storm starts. That’s when I am trying to get my kids out of bed and ready for school. So we can leave the house by 6:40am to catch the school bus.

In this 15 minutes, I will sip on my coffee and rock in my rocking chair. I will enjoy the peace and quiet because it’s the only time I get to myself.

What do you do with your 15 minutes?

Arkansas, health

Ablation

Sorry to any guys who may be reading this. This post is for women.

I had a tubal ligation back in August 2014 after I had my second daughter. My pregnancy was a tough one. I had gestational diabetes and had to inject insulin 4 times a day as well as severe pre-eclampsia. My daughter and I both almost died during birth. So my doctor told me it would be in my best interest to not have anymore children. She said, I probably wouldn’t make it through another birth. So as a precaution, I had my tubes tied.

Ever since then, my cycles have been horrific. I won’t go into detail. Just know, they are really really bad. So I scheduled a consult with my VA doctor to see if I could get referred for an ablation. And I got that referral. I had my consult with my new doctor outside the VA, I had a biopsy done of my uterus, to make sure I’m cancer free. That came back clear. So now I’m waiting for them to call to schedule. The doctor believes that this will be able to help me with my monthly problem. My fingers are crossed.

Now the only thing I’m worried about is getting put to sleep. Me and surgery don’t mix well. For example, my emergency c-section ended with me losing massive amounts of blood. I had to receive 2 blood transfusions and stay in the hospital a week and a half. When I had my tubal, my surgery was supposed to be like an hour and simple. It ended up being difficult and lasting 4 hours. So I just get really nervous.

But I need this done. So I’m gonna push my fear aside and do it. Hopefully they call me soon.

Arkansas, food, health, Recipes

Cajun Shrimp Pastalaya

I fixed this dish the other night for my family and they loved it. It’s another recipe I for from tablespoon.com. Check out this awesome site for some amazing recipes.

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/2 lb Andouille sausage, sliced

1/2 white onion, diced

1/2 cup diced celery

1 can (14.5 oz) Muir Glen™ Organic Diced Tomatoes

1 lb penne pasta

1 tablespoon Cajun seasoning

3 cups chicken stock

1 lb large shrimp, peeled and deveined

Salt and pepper

Fresh parsley, for garnish

Steps

1 Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil to a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add sliced sausage, white onion and celery to pan and cook 3 to 4 minutes until veggies soften.

2. Meanwhile, peel and devein the shrimp. Tip: use a small paring knife or kitchen shears to cut down the back of the shrimp and wash out the vein. Leave tails on and set aside.

3. Add tomatoes, penne pasta, Cajun seasoning and chicken stock to the Dutch oven. Bring mixture to a simmer and reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer for 6 minutes.

4. Stir well, then replace lid and cook for another 4 minutes. At this point, the pasta will be mostly cooked and most of the liquid absorbed.

5. Add the peeled and deveined shrimp to the pan and stir to combine. Cover and cook 3 minutes more.

6. Remove lid and give everything a good stir. Taste the pastalaya and season with salt and pepper to your liking. Garnish with fresh parsley.